Another Reason To Fear Them

On today’s episode of “Inroads in Science: Still No Cure for Cancer”, we bring you an article in Discover Magazine that says that clowns are apparently a leading cause of pregnancy.  I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, it would not surprise me to learn that Deb either made that up or, once again, has misinterpreted a critical piece of statistical information. But you’d be wrong. Sort of.

According to the study, women who were trying to conceive through in vitro fertilization and had been visited by a “medical clown” after the procedure were

"Slide down, please."

almost twice as likely to conceive as the control group, who presumably were not left to weep hysterically.

Let’s think about this for a second. You’ve just undergone a stressful procedure involving hormones and mysterious medical devices, you’re left to lie on a table in the most vulnerable position known to womanhood, and in comes some bozo — literally– in a white jacket, urging you to honk his horn. Statistically speaking, I’m not surprised these women became pregnant. I’m surprised there weren’t more clown deaths.

Dr. Shevach Friedler, the leader of this study, is a mime aficionado himself — one of the first things everyone looks for in a fertility specialist — and touts his clown innovation as “one of the least hazardous interventions in our field.”

For the women, maybe. I just hope the clowns are getting hazard pay.

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