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Warning: They Really ARE Out To Get You

August 26, 2009

In more “Looks like we picked the wrong week to give up the Lipitor” news, a sign that the fast food industry is not even pretending to have your best interests at heart:  when they bag the whole “grilled chicken is much, much better for you” marketing strategy, leave the bread off their sandwiches and replace it with….. (drumroll):

The Angioplasty Special

The Angioplasty Special


The new Kentucky Fried Chicken Double Down Sandwich — which I think would more accurately be called the Double Over Sandwich — consists of two fried chicken slabs in place of the bread, bacon, and not one but TWO kinds of cheese.  Binding this all together is something they are calling “The Colonel’s Sauce”.  I will leave that one to your imagination.  This monstrosity is being test-marketed only in the lucky, lucky states of Rhode Island and Nebraska, ostensibly as punishment for being such nice places to live.

A public relations person from KFC, who was clearly operating under duress, was brave enough to contest the independent nutritional analysis that someone ran, which reported a whopping 1,700 calories in the Double Down.  This poor guy, who at first tried to say something perky like, “This sandwich is SO meaty, it doesn’t even NEED the bread!  Ha, ha!  No, Colonel, please don’t feed me through the meat grinder!!!”, proceeded to try to convince the press that the Double Down is actually good for us because there are very few carbs and little or no transfats.  So we can all breathe a sigh of relief, apparently.  KFC has our backs, in their own deluded little way.

But that whole high-fat, low-carb thing as a way to lose weight is just a rumor, as far as I know.  There are no long-term benefits to eating that way, unless you count an ugly and early death as a benefit.  So, as a public service, I will start a rumor of my own:  The KFC Double Down Sandwich is….. people.

It can’t be any more disgusting than the reality, can it?

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Kim permalink
    August 26, 2009 8:44 PM

    That is unbelievably fowl.

  2. August 26, 2009 2:21 PM

    Now I’ve got the whole office groaning … most from laughter … some from the ick factor!

  3. August 26, 2009 2:21 PM

    You are so funny! And that is so gross!!

  4. JBo permalink
    August 26, 2009 2:10 PM

    Deb, I’ve lost 60 lbs on that low carb “high fat” way of eating.
    KFC is not low carb except for their new grilled chicken that looks too nasty for ne to try. Now back to my ribeye lunch.

    • Deb permalink*
      August 26, 2009 2:13 PM

      Hey Joe, what’re you, a speed reader or something? Must be the low carb diet. Don’t get me wrong: I love fried chicken. It’s my go-to comfort food. But Geez, this was really nauseating.

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