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When We Said “Keep Moving”, We Really Meant It. Love, The Baltimore Police Dept.

October 10, 2009
I realize that this is a tough time for everyone, what with unemployment on the increase, the whole scary Middle East thing, and the cancellation of fine television programming such as “According To Jim”, so as an act of public service I am going to help raise everyone’s spirits by telling you about a good deed I read about today that is being performed by The Baltimore Sun.  If you don’t immediately feel better after reading this, you are clearly made of stone.
Tomorrow is the Baltimore Marathon, and purely out of the goodness of their hearts, the wonderful people at The Baltimore Sun have published a map that not only outlines the route of the race for runners and spectators alike, but also generously shows the parts of the route where one is most likely to die a violent death:
I’d like to think the runners will find this very reassuring.  Clearly, The Sun has done its research — they call the highlighted portions of the map “The Dangerous Zone” — and if I wanted a definitive answer as to exactly where I should either gun it during the race or die trying, this is it.
Now, I’m not personally running in this race, but there’s a good chance that my cousin Steve will be there.  Steve is an oncological pain management specialist at Sloan-Kettering in New York City and, because he’s a good egg, he devotes a sizable portion of his appallingly rare free time to running marathons as part of Fred’s Team, which has already raised millions of dollars for cancer research.   Steve is part of a team that does admirable things for people who are truly suffering, and if you have the time and some money to burn, please click through to the Fred’s Team page and help them out.  You won’t be sorry.
Good luck, Steve.  And remember to gun it through The Dangerous Zone.
9 Comments leave one →
  1. Faldone permalink
    November 13, 2009 2:50 PM

    And here I was hoping they’d re-hired John McIntyre.

  2. Kevin West permalink
    October 13, 2009 12:15 PM

    While that is all good info to have, I’d want to know where the “muggings for tennies” occurred. Yes. I said tennies.

  3. joecab permalink
    October 12, 2009 3:47 PM

    I’m sure all those homicides occured during the day and with tons of people around just like a marathon. Gosh, they should be scared after all.

  4. October 11, 2009 7:57 PM

    Hey Deb,
    I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award. You can pick up (copy) your award badge and get instructions at my blog:
    Thanks for making me laugh!


    • Deb permalink*
      October 12, 2009 10:42 AM

      Hi Tracy,

      Hey, thanks so much for the kudos! Coming from you, that’s a right honor. As soon as my technologically-challenged brain figures out how to get the award graphic onto my site (WP isn’t making it easy for me), I will follow suit.

      Thanks again!

  5. Julie permalink
    October 11, 2009 6:52 PM

    Steve is a Brooklyn Boy, he knows how to run from thugs. And since he will already be running, is it really so hard to run faster (at mile 23)?

  6. October 11, 2009 6:48 PM

    What? Not a single murder or sexual assault in two months? I’d run there. If I ran. Which I don’t.

  7. October 11, 2009 11:20 AM

    This is proof that while running may be good for your health, running like hell away from homicidal maniacs and assault-inclined individuals is even better for your health! Best of luck to your cousin, Deb. Tell him to stay safe.

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