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Matlock Would Never Have Approved Of This

March 30, 2010
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From the Department of How You Can Tell The Legal Profession Is Secretly Laughing At Us:

Grapes with a EULA.

For those of us (and by that I mean me) who are not extraordinarily tech- or legal-savvy, End User License Agreements are those long, boring documents that no one reads but everyone clicks “Agree To” when they are installing new software just so we can go about our important daily business, like stopping Bowser from taking over the entire known Universe in Super Mario Galaxy.  And yet we (and by that I mean me) all feign surprise and dismay when Steve Jobs pulls up to our homes in a stretch limousine and claims our first-born, don’t we?  We never learn.

Anyway, this particular agreement says “The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of the produce, including (but not limited to) seeds, stems, tissue and fruit”.   These happen to be seedless grapes, but I didn’t go to law school, so I don’t know whether that voids the warranty or not.

Spiffy.  One more thing to worry about, right?  So when I send my child to school with a nutritious lunch, do I now really need to tell him, “Have a nice day, good luck on your test, oh and by the way, try to remember not to propagate or reproduce your serving of fruit” just to be in compliance with an out-of-control legal system?

I say we riot.

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