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The End Of Art As We Know It

April 20, 2010

I like to think of myself as a person who appreciates art for art’s sake.  It would never occur to me, for example, to look at the Michaelangelo’s David and say, “It’s interesting, sure, but I wonder why they never turned it into a coffee bar.”  Because that would sound deranged, right?

But then there are the “form and function” gurus, like the Dutch design firm Atelier Van Lieshout.   They believe that where there is form, you cannot have too much function.  They also believe that where there is function, it is not at all weird to slap a human digestive and excretory system on it:

Whatever you do, don't drink the Mud Slides

Let me explain.  This is the Vienna Art Museum.  The Museum Board decided that they needed to attract more patrons and felt that putting in a bar would be mutually beneficial:  Museum-goers would have a better time overall, and, with a stiff drink under their belt they would perhaps donate more money.  So they asked Atelier Van Lieshout to design a bar for them and said, look, don’t worry about your design being too “out there”.  This is an art museum.  We trust that everything will come out all right.

Which is apparently all the design firm needed to hear.  What they came up with, I believe, is the most wonderful idea for a bar in the entire history of drinking.  Behold BarRectum, which starts out at the tongue and esophagus, offers intimate and comfortable seating right through the upper and lower intestines, features both outdoor seating (polyp) and what appears to be a take-out window (hernia), and ends festively at the rectum which, I am told,  also functions as an Emergency Exit.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 24, 2010 6:56 AM

    And every hour, on the hour, it farts, using the latest in senses-numbing technology. Just don’t be too close to the orifice when it happens.

  2. April 20, 2010 9:36 PM

    “I’ll have the chocolate mousse, please.”

  3. April 20, 2010 7:12 PM

    should be a great place for artists to get the creative juices flowing

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