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Physics For MBA Students 101: ROUND Sandwich In a ROUND Hole

July 13, 2010

Here’s a reason why physics should be taught in Business School:  Candwiches.

Maybe they're just really small sandwiches

Before I even get into the whole federal fraud thing, or the what-kind-of-moron-would-eat-a-sandwich-from-a-can thing, or even the obvious how-the-heck-did-they-get-that-thing-in-there-in-the-first-place thing, I would like to draw your attention to the convenient pop-top opening at the top of the can.  As any soda drinker knows, the opening that’s left after you pop the top is just large enough to sip the liquid from the can, or, if you’re my 10 year old son, to get your upper lip caught in the hole because you’ve decided to try to drink an entire can of Sprite upside down without using your hands and need to have your lip iced until the swelling goes down and the pediatrician can remove the can.  It is not, I repeat NOT large enough to facilitate the extraction of an entire sandwich, unless of course you’re a member of the Slow Food movement and you happen to enjoy eating your PB&J in 12,000 tiny little pieces.  So there goes your whole ‘bang for the buck’ thing right there.

To make matters worse, the guy who came up with the idea for selling canned sandwiches in a vending machine, Mark Kirkland, made another spectacular business decision and entrusted the raising of capital to one Travis Mitchell, who apparently used the money raised for his own pleasure instead of for the physics lessons Mr. Kirkland so clearly needs.

I would discuss this more but I’m late for a meeting with my investment advisor.  We’re hard at work raising capital for my new invention, “Soda in a Styrofoam Clamshell.”

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