Alberta, Canada: Our New BFF

Dear Alberta,

Hey, how are you?  Did you have a good summer?  Ours was pretty hot, what with the global warming thing. Not that we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, but how come it only seems to hit us down here in North America? Ha ha.  Sorry, you guys are still part of good old N. A. too, right?

Listen, we know it’s been a while since we’ve been in touch, but we wanted to thank you for the clever Times Square ads.  We couldn’t have been more surprised to hear from you, frankly, and then you totally punk us by dropping those signs in the middle of New York City.  Beauty, eh?  Do you guys still say that?

Our BFFs

So… oil in Canada!  Maybe we weren’t exactly paying attention, because we’re pretty sure you mentioned it once or twice in the past, but way to go!

We know we’ve been really busy lately and have been hanging a lot with the Middle East, but just between you and us they’ve gotten way too uppity for our tastes recently.  Oh, and can you say TWO-FACED?!  We have put just about everything we had into that friendship, and what have they done for us?  Do they ever pick up a cheque?  We spend and we spend on them and everytime we think things are going well, their psycho brothers come along and blow something up and guess who has to clean up the mess?  Man, it gets our toques in a twist.  Hosers.

Anyway, we just wanted to say hi and let you all know that anytime you wanted to take off for some beers and back bacon with us, we’re totally there.  Please.

Your BFF,

The United States of America

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