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You Have The Right To Remain… Hey, Is That Pizza?

January 31, 2010

I have encouraging news for those of you who think that our law enforcement professionals have completely given up on the War on Drugs.  Police in Tucumcari, New Mexico recently showed the country who’s in charge by arresting a man who had lost control of his car and crashed into a snow drift.

Lest you come to the conclusion that the Tucumcari police force is particularly harsh, or even a tad confused — as far as I know, grill-planting your car into six feet of snow is not a crime in any part of New Mexico — the arrest was made after police noticed tracks in the snow between the man’s car and the bottom of a nearby bridge, where he had apparently stashed 238 lbs. of marijuana.

After treating the man for a head wound, the police confiscated the 200 lbs. of pot and charged him with possession of 150 lbs. of an illegal substance with intent to distribute.  According to up-to-the-minute news reports, he is now in jail awaiting trial for something something something involving 75 lbs. of primo weed.

And if that wasn’t enough heroism for one day, the Tucumcari police haven’t forgotten about the littlest victims of the War on Drugs.  Striding purposefully into the local elementary school, they wowed the kids with their tale of concern for the public at large that this 50 lbs. of areyouhungry?ManI’mstarving not make it into the hands of the vulnerable children of the community.  To further drive home their poignant “Just Say No” message, they conducted a thorough raid on the kids’ lunch boxes, making sure to relieve them of some of the  more dangerous Ho-Hos and peanut butter and potato chips and juice boxes and M&Ms.

So don’t tell me the police aren’t looking out for our welfare. They’re totally stoked.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Howard B permalink
    February 4, 2010 8:49 PM

    I absolutely agree, Deb. Insightful commentary on… Hey, are those Cool Ranch Doritos?!? Oh man, I haven’t had those in, like, months!!! Pass ’em down!

    Thanks for sharing your musings. And snack chips.

    • Deb permalink*
      February 4, 2010 8:54 PM

      My pleasure, Howard. But don’t touch the Ho-Hos. Those are mine.

  2. Shauna permalink
    February 2, 2010 11:57 AM

    Oh my gosh Deb, you are tooooooooo funny. Keep it comin’ my friend. Thanks for the laughs, and ummmm I wonder if those cops watch that show WEEDS? hmmmmmmm

  3. Rich Fuchs permalink
    February 1, 2010 7:25 PM

    Thank you Officers, for protecting our roads, our children, and our society as a whole.

    Incidentally, when my daughter asks me for $50.00 as she heads through the door toward the mall, my usual response is “forty dollar??? What do you need thirty dollars for?”

    • Deb permalink*
      February 1, 2010 10:27 PM

      Ha! I have to try that with my daughter one day…

  4. Erica permalink
    February 1, 2010 7:13 AM

    Wow, I can’t believe how seriously authorities take their jobs sometimes. It kills me to think that taxpayers’ dollars fund these fools. JFK said, “Modern cynics and skeptics… see no harm in paying those to whom they entrust the minds of their children a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom they entrust the care of their plumbing.” According to that statement, we do a poor job of prioritizing where our money goes. I would agree. Since the state pays so much for our authorities, you would think that they could at least do their job and be good examples for children in schools.

    On the other hand, why not just legalize marijuana and eliminate the entire problem of hypocrisy? 🙂

  5. January 31, 2010 6:13 PM

    Ha! I love it. That’s certainly the way to teach – by example.

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